I am (still) anxiously awaiting to bring our "Sadie" home (March 17, 2010). As you can probably imagine, I am excited, nervous and hopeful all in one. I want everything to be perfect but yet in life we have to remember that nothing is always 100% perfect. I will give you all some info on her. "Sadie" comes to us from our friend, a small Parti-colored Schnauzer breeder and whom my husband works with. He is very attentive to his dogs, talk about having it made!
After my "Skippy" had passed (a few months afterwards) he had invited myself and my family out to his place to just visit with his dogs and puppies. Inside they have televisions, air/heat, radios, very nice living conditions, superb living conditions. Our "Sadie" was formerly he and his wife's indoor dog until he decided to breed her (only once) and then he "retired" her. I wonder so often what she will look like, her personality, etc. but have been assured that she will fit right in with our family well. Knowing that she is coming "home" soon has made my days so much brighter. March 3 came and went. I thought often about "Skippy" as it was exactly 1 yr. that he had passed.
I think God really does heal, just maybe not as quickly as we'd probably like but certainly in HIS time. I could remember so many little things about "Skippy" and I know that a yr. ago I just could not recall these things without so much pain and sorrow. Without getting "religious" I must say that losing my father in December 2008 and then losing "Skippy", whom my father gave to me, in March 2009, made for many confusing moments in my life.
I realized that I myself had a terminal illness but I hadn't came to full circle with my own mortality until then and honestly, I was afraid. I realized how quickly life fades from us. I thought a lot about leaving my son and husband and never getting to live my life fully and I had much anger because I did'nt understand. I was not raised in a home where we went to church or really even spoke of the Lord. I went to church with my Uncle growing up when he could carry me but there was not religious background per say in my childhood. My father, my family, believed in God but nothing was ever discussed or explained so loosing people/animals and dealing with my own illness has been a new awakening within myself. I've dealt with alot of "deep" issues within the last year or so. I personally had a bad childhood but I won't get into any of that because it is'nt important. Many a time I've had so many questions. I was an athelete growing up. Active in school, honor student, cheerleader/majorette, ran track and also excelled in rodeo (barrels, etc.) so if you can imagine, getting sick was never been "in the cards" for me. Life is amazing, is'nt it? However, I am the type of person that refuses to "lay down". If you think that you are beat, you certainly are because you've already beat yourself.
I excelled in English, Honors English to be exact, in school and now, some days, I can not remember how to brush my teeth. Make no mistake, I have never wanted pity, from anyone nor from myself. You worry about the things that you can do something about. I'll tell you exactly how I cope and how I've coped my entire life with everything in life...through my animals and through my music. I can sit for hours and get completely lost in music and my life's worries seem so far away. I love classic rock n' roll. That's what I grew up on and that soothes my soul. I suppose it is trully good therapy and so is having a best friend by your side. See, I have no family of my own left and when I became sick my friends seemed to fade from sight, living their own fast-paced, hectic lives. Perhaps it has helped me to write in here, to share with you all, my feelings. I often wish I could do this with people but that has never been so easy for me to do because as animal lovers, we know that some people can not comprehend that love, that unbreakable bond, between a person and their dog. I am of English/Irish/Swedish ancestory and I think that because of this, I am a little stronger maybe than the rest. Personally I've never thought that people make us strong anyway, that comes from within. This may seem strange but as I noted, music keeps me strong, and the one song that I've chosen to have as a personal favorite in my life has been "Hey Jude" by the Beatles respectively.
Perhaps everything I've said has been unimportant and irrevelant for a website about Miniature Schnauzers, I don't know but one thing I have learned within my life is that sometimes a person or an animal comes into your life, if only for a short time, like the flicker of a flame, and then they are gone as soon as they walked in. Sometimes, just sometimes, they remain longer. Either way our lives were blessed for just having them in it.
Take care to all and God Bless your lives.